By Millie Muthoni
I have three younger brothers.
I say that with a lot of mixed feelings.
Don’t get me wrong, I love them. I would never trade them for anything in the world. But at the same time I would trade them for anything in the world. Seriously, living with a pack of wild monkeys would be a breeze compared to what I have to work with.
You know that cliché of younger siblings that drive the eldest one nuts? That’s us. Well, the driving nuts goes both ways. What can I say, I love me a good tit for tat. Thanks to boarding schools, my brothers and I have never spent more than four weeks together. So when the staying at home gig landed(read Corona), I was absolutely positive that a combination like ours would only end up with the house blown up roof flying up into the air.
Three times we have come pretty close to that.
Once we almost flooded the house. By the way, the parents do not know anything about any of this, so I would really appreciate it if this stays between us. Anyway, as the eldest, the task of making sure none of us is a Mathare Level patient by the time Rona ends falls to me. I tried to find ways to make our co-existence at least bearable. This is what I have so far for anyone who might be in the same predicament as mine.
- Cook together. I know, recipe for disaster (gerrit). Most of the time it is. But there is just something that bonds you as siblings when you are all throwing strange ingredients into the mixing bowl while praying to the good Lord that at the end of it, whatever comes out will resemble pastry filling or at the very least a pancake ad not some witchly brew. If you are ever in these here sides, give me a call and we’ll make you our ‘Very Chocolate Mixed Fruit Pancake’. We can’t remember what we put in it but the disaster recipe was delicious.
- Game night. So if #1 ends up with you guys getting banned from the kitchen, there is absolutely no way you could go wrong with game night. We tried Twister. Well, that was humiliating for me. I try to keep fit. I jog, I do agility training and yoga. But somehow, those little minxes are way more flexible than I am. I mean, how??? Seriously, does anyone know the answer to this one?
- Prank the parents. I wish someone had told us to think twice before we did this. My parents have never quite recovered from this one. Let me tell you, do not, under any circumstances, for whatever reason, try to prank a deeply religious woman who comes from a community that heavily believes in spirits and ghosts. Let it never be said that I never tried to warn you. But it works though. There’s that.
- Book club. I have people who we became very good friends because we were brought together by a very good book. Unfortunately that is not the same story I have with my brothers. I thought since we like arguing so much, we could use that to debate the different perspectives and opinions we get from the book. That’s how it should be on paper, right. But it seems I judged that book by the cover. We could not even agree on what book we should read.
- If all else fails, there is nothing bonfire night and maize and yams to roast cannot fix. Unless it rains.
Looking at that list, if by the end of COVID19 I still have any of my sanity left, I am getting myself an award and whole ceremony to go with it. It will be live too. So tune in. It will go something along the lines of…
And the award for remaining moderately sane despite the chaos goes to; Millie
“I would like to thank my secret stash of wine. Without whom I wouldn’t be standing here tonight. This award isn’t just mine, it belongs to wine too. Wine, I know you are watching this and mama you are a miracle worker. You did what no other person would have ever been able to do for me. Thank you. Just thank you.”