Death can be traumatizing. It can be scary. It can be a burden for families who cannot afford the mortuary bills or the funeral. But at one point or another, we all have to pass through that door as death knows not rich or poor. It won’t matter if you died healthy or malnourished. When it knocks, you cannot bargain whether to stay alive or die.
What worries me is that nobody has been taught how to deal with it when it finally comes calling. Someone close, like a friend, might lose a loved one. But you cannot know what they are going through until you are in their shoes. And while dealing with death can be very painful and hard to forget, men and women deal differently. Women cope by crying and talking to someone about how they feel. The men on the other hand…
Who said men should not cry? Who said crying or mourning is a sign of weakness? Oh Society! It has made men act strong when on the inside they are dying. They have to be strong everytime, year in year out. And one of the signs of strength according to the society is that their tears should never be seen. Ladies don’t help shed that stereotype by the way. Most women prefer crying on the shoulders of men. I mean, the men are stronger. They can take it. Forgetting that the situation affects both of them.
Study shows that women live more years compared to men. One of the reasons is because men get stressed and bottle it up unlike ladies who open up. So why is it so hard for men to open up? Society again! When a man opens up, shows that the man is not strong enough, right?
Depression is real. It starts with the little stresses of everyday life that eat at a person. It leads to early deaths. So from today let’s adopt the culture of encouraging the men to know that it is okay to express themselves by mourning, crying and speaking up. I know of a couple who lost their only son. The woman cried bitterly such that you could personally feel the loss. But the man had to be strong, not only for his wife but also for the sake of societal beliefs. But deep down it hurt him and he wished he could bitterly cry. But he could not because ‘he’s a man‘. Days later he died due to the stress of it all. So today let’s always be there for our men and let them know it’s okay to vent out their frustrations.