Last time, I told you I would find out for you what it’s like for them who date writers and other artistic types. Well, I went and did just that.
“Why on earth would anyone deliberately date a writer?” She whined.
Let’s call her Jane. She asked a question I’m sure you have never thought to ask. What she meant was; when it comes to dating a creative, the reality can never live up to the fantasy. Think of it like hopeless romantics on steroids. Which is why we are some of the most difficult people to love.
“After two years in a relationship with one, I would strongly advise anyone not to do it.” She seemed firm in that. “You people are not easy.”
My face lit up. The coming rant looks ripe for some juicy content.
“You see, right there. You people cannot be trusted with any bit of information. Everything everyone says to you is content for your next story.”
We covered this last week; when I told you that at some point you’re going to end up as the material. But I honestly don’t understand why they always take offence. The way I see it, it’s a very high compliment. It just shows that we find you so inspiring. It’s an awesome feeling to be somebody’s muse. Or am I missing something here?
Anyway, moving on. Back to why Jane loves but hates being with an artistic type.
“It’s the intensity. You people feel everything. It’s like feelings exist both inside and out with you people.”
In our defence, that’s just part of the job description. We have to be able to feel the world and everything around in order to express it in our various art forms. There’s always a story around us and we feed off the emotions that come with them. Our works cannot be void of emotion. We try that and we end up being told that our work is plain, simple and flat. No creative wants to be told that their work is plain and simple and flat.
I really tried to explain that to her and she seemed to get it. Except for “But you end up expecting us to feel everything too. It gets intimidating sometimes, you know.”
Yes, I know. Sometimes the connection we get with our pieces, we don’t get it with the people we get involved with. So we end up doubting how real it is when the other person doesn’t show the same intensity we do.
“For what it’s worth, he loves that you’re so grounded. Our heads get lost in the clouds sometimes and we love knowing that we have an anchor that can keep our feet on the ground. In as much as we love that we are a hurricane of emotions, sometimes that becomes too much to bear. And it’s your level-headedness that can calm us down.” I offered, although I’m not sure it was worth much.
“I never know with her.” You remember Brayo from last week? This is him again. “You people have these moments were you just want to be left alone to go create. But then she’s also a girl so I never know if she’s just being moody and gloomy.”
C’mon, everyone wants their time alone but I think what Brayo meant was we tend to need to be alone more times than the average person does. We don’t say it enough but we appreciate that you at least try to understand the difference between ‘I need to be alone’ and ‘I want to get away from you’. It helps to keep in mind that it is just time to regroup and brainstorm ideas or finish that piece of been working on since last week and nothing else. If that puts us in this intense brooding state that comes off as being cold and stand-offish, well, we also happen to be very creative in ways to make it up to you. Wink.
“Other couples fight about that guy best friend or money or cheating. I wish that was us. Our biggest fights have been because I don’t read her work!” Dicky said.
Finally a chance for me to properly rant. Why on earth would you not read something that your love has done? We take it personally by the way. We want feedback from you. That was the whole point of showing it to you. We don’t even have to ask you, you should want to read or listen to or see our work.
“You have to understand, I hate reading!”
If you’re thinking the same thing, then to you I say shame on you. Buddy that is not an excuse. It doesn’t matter how much you hate to read. Decent human being code dictates that when a person close to you creates something, you sample it and give feedback. It’s common courtesy. And yes that is enough to escalate into a fight. It basically shows that you don’t show interest in something that was important to us. Even if it’s not totally your thing you never put it down.
“Your expectations are unusually high. One has to have Lenny Henry level pick up lines to get your attention.” Of course Tom had an opinion.
Now that is just completely untrue. It’s not like we expect to wake up each morning to poetry. I don’t know about you people but if you can spew out poetry, then I’m less likely to trust you. Anyone who can rhyme or turn each and every word you say into an innuendo -ie poets- make for some of the most untrustworthy people. I mean there’s a reason why funny guys are feared more than bad boys.
“It doesn’t matter. I can give you my best lines and then you’ll be there all meh! I’ve heard that before. It takes a lot to impress you people.”
“If by a lot you mean we’d rather you put a lot more thought into something, then yes. It takes a lot to impress us.”
We listen, observe, take in the small things. If that says unusually high expectations to you then…
All in all, I think what people need to know is; when it comes to dating an artistic type, truth and expressing yourself are really important. You cannot hide your little insecurities or everyday stresses or embarrassing fears or even the guilty pleasures. We don’t want you to. We want you to experience everything to the highest degree because if that’s not the definition of living then what is?