I was talking to a friend the other day and he said something to me that I have not been able to stop thinking about ever since.
“Never boss around a man, even when they are inferior. They will always frustrate you. Because it is not their natural disposition to be under a woman.“
When he told me this it was actually in regards to a little situation my brothers and I had gotten into. At the time, my anger and frustration could only allow me to see how that sounded a lot like toxic masculinity. Which I told him. And all I got was;
“Whatever you want to call it, there is a way the world was meant to function.“
On any other given day, like today, I’d have agreed with him. I have had many debates with people on how men and women can never be equal. Because men were always meant to be superior.
Now hear me, I said superior. Not important. Not better. Superior. Big difference. And no, that does not mean that I overlook the obvious inequities that exist between men and women. I know it seems misogynistic of me that I have such an opinion and it may seem like I subscribe to the gender stereotypes there are. And to that I say, have a sit down with me. I am a complex human being.
I think we can all agree that life as a child is fairly simple. Uncomplicated. There are no huge differences among the kids you are in the same class with. No one was significantly much stronger than anyone else. Our entire existence revolved around one thing; can I play with them?
Then we grew up and everything changed. And I think this is where we begin seeing people from a boy or girl lens. Because at this point there were rules to how I should “play” with boys. And generally having to watch myself whenever I am in the same place with the guys. There were clear differences on what we could or could not do; some based on my gender. Life felt unfair. It seemed to me that the boys got to have more fun. And I think that it is at this point that most our insecurities based on being girl or boy take root. So I came to the conclusion that boys have it better than girls.
Fast forward to 2020 and most of that still sticks. And I think the world can agree with me. Most of what we design is by default for men. Like, did you know that heels were originally worn by men. Or that fashion magazines, while popular among women, were first made for men. Women are just the variety.
But whether you agree with me or not, here are just four things men are definitely more superior in compared to women.
Drinking. This is a fact of life; women just cannot handle their liquor. Biology agrees with me on this one. For the curious mind, look up ADH isozymes. I think this is why they invented a sweet or flavoured version to majority of the major liquor types. I’m not complaining; I love my sweet white wine and apple flavoured snapp. But drinking was not made for women. So cheers to that!
Peeing while standing up. Please point me to the direction of a woman who has cracked this code and with perfect aim and I will have an award custom made for her. I’m sure there will be an entire chapter in the Guinness Book of Records just for her.
Losing hair. Have you ever heard the urban saying that take away a woman’s hair and she loses half her beauty. Then the rest can be easily taken away by a towel. Now my main focus is on the first part of that statement. Women just don’t bald gracefully. But when a man starts to lose his mane, he suddenly has a rugged, older aspect to him that is somehow makes him this foxy silver alpha. Women just become old.
Breezy living. I have never stopped getting jealous at how uncomplicated and drama free men’s lives are. It’s like they are born with a natural talent to completely avoid complications; wanted or otherwise. There is a meme that says that men have it easy. They wipe their faces and butts with the same towel and still walk around with smooth skins, love their mothers and call each other bro. I think this says everything.
I’m not saying I’m going to go round the mugumo tree seven times to change my gender, but you have to admit, sometimes, being a man is just so much better.