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Sex Or Something – Episode One

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Sex or something, want to know?, well then keep reading.

Episode one.

So the other day I was having a conversation with a friend. Juicy stuff. Lets call this friend Herbert. So Herbert randomly asks me, “how many times do you like it done?”. I pause for a while, unsure of what he is saying or maybe just avoiding to blurt out the first thought in my mind (i bet you guys know what first came to my mind ) because well, it might be the wrong answer and i will end up looking like a perverted human being. I ask him what he meant by ‘having it done’. He bluntly says, “sex, I meant sex and i know you got what i was trying to ask”. I laugh for a while and say, “well Herbert i don’t really have sex as often as you think. In fact i have not had it for a while now, six months to be precise.”

My friend laughs hysterically and says, “well I do not believe you. Its obvious you are telling lies. Nobody stays that long without having it, not even people who are not in relationships.” i say to him,” well ,believe me. I have not had it for that long”. And he says,” How do you survive? For me a week if not having any action and am crank, stressed and having random headaches.” “Its simple. I wank.” The conversation got more juicier, but let me leave it at that. So the term ‘wank’ . For a couple of you this may be a common term while for others you know it in another term(the Kenyan man calls it ‘kunyonga monkey’ ). In more scientific terms this is called masturbation.

With the amount of men being rejected daily, no offense men, most of them have resorted to wanking as their way of life. Wanking is the act of pleasing one self sexually. While it is common knowledge that the average man has done it atleast once in their life, for women most who do this do not really accept or acknowledge such a thing. Truth is women also partake in this act. To some especially men this fact may come as a surprise, but the truth is women are just like any other beings. They too feel. Yes, we do that too. Well my friend asks me to give him the details roughly. I know you guys are interested in the details.

For some women it is easy because they have things to work with like sex toys. Not all women can afford the many varieties of sex toys. Then comes our innovative and creative minds. A successful ‘wank session’ with no sex toys requires a very imaginative mind or a pornographic material, either soft or hard porn(mostly hard porn which includes videos for those who do not want to waste time) and a steady hand. Concentration is everything. For instance if i was deep in the act and climaxing and someone were to walk in on me, well everything resets and i have to start again. Devastating right? My thoughts exactly. You need utmost privacy for this,maybe lock your room and do it at the wee hours of the night.

If one uses their imagination, then they will have to be very graphic in their thinking. For instance think about that hot sweaty trainer you met at the gym or that steamy sex you once had that got that burst of adrenaline through your body or that movie you once watched that had really steamy sex that got your juices flowing( that would be fifty shades of gray for me. That one was just something else). Next step is to get comfortable and with your steady hand work on those areas that arouse, I mean really get down there and really stimulate those areas. For those who do not have that time in their hands to really think hard, well you have the internet to your disposal, you know what i mean.

Allow me to go back to my story a little. So Herbert asks me once more,” why wank?Why resort to doing this while you have friends you could go to to attain sexual pleasure?” Make me understand”. Well masturbation is safe. I personally have a fear of contracting sexually transmitted diseases. I would rather be safe and prevent it than suffer and have a long journey of trying to get cured. For diseases like HIV/AIDS well that’s irreversible. I know you are all thinking why not just use protection. I would not say am an introvert really, but for some women, admitting just to anyone that you are horny and need to get laid is a process that they would rather not go through. To save themselves the trouble self pleasing is easier. Futhermore having sex with yourself reduces pregnancy risk by a hundred percent. Not having to deal with an unwanted pregnancy is every sexually active girl’s dream. The reason that tops the list is that you get to have all this self induced multiple orgasms. We women can all agree that not every woman finds it easy to orgasm during intercourse, a few do, others never orgasm at all in there lives, while others orgasm during masturbation only.

So in conclusion, you want multiple orgasms wank yourself to one, you don’t want to go through the trouble of asking just any man for sex and end up sounding desperate, wank it off, you don’t want that unwanted pregnancy, wank the urge off and finally you don’t want a sexually transmitted disease, well wank it off!

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